You cannot change what you refuse to acknowledge.
So, I did it. I had to call myself to the carpet.
It took me awhile, but I had to reconcile with the fact that I was not the best mother for my child.
I became a young, single, mother at the age of 19. I was very immature and unestablished. Still, I was determined to parent my child.
Many may applaud my decision to raise my child, despite adversity, but I felt completely selfish. Even though I had nothing, I felt like I owed it to my daughter to take care of her. I didn’t want to give up on her.
I was selfish because my daughter had to endure the consequences of my immaturity at that time. How is that admirable?
Even when a parent grasps any level of maturity, the mind still needs to continue elevate it’s way of thinking.
I say this because parenting has different levels. We all like to think that we know who our kids are. The truth is that our kids are on a constant path of self-discovery. If we as parents create a hostile dynamic, or operate with closed minds, we will never know who our kids truly are.
Our kids will spend a lifetime trying to transform into who they think will please you.
This is why I have blunt conversations with my children. I don’t want them to run with the misconception that “Mommy was perfect, therefore, I need to fill her shoes.”. I want to show my vulnerability, so in return they can show theirs.
The truth is, there is absolutely NOTHING that I can think of that will make me love my kids any less. I let them know this on a regular basis.
My child could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot me and I wouldn’t love him or her any less.
Now, i don’t have a favorite, but if one of my kids deposits a small loan of $1 million in my account….
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